Ultra Chicken

Ultra chicken loves to run,
She runs around the world for fun.
Come scorching sunshine, rain or snow
It's Ultra Chicken; go, go, go!

Now here's a very silly thing,
This race is called the Piece of String.
You must run, and run, and then
Go out and run, and run again.

No one knows quite when to end,
S' enough to send you round the bend.
But focus, try, and persevere...
You'll likely fail - so try next year!

The mountain race UTMB
Is held each year in Chamonix.
In the mountains way up high,
It's clucking tough, and you might die.

And through the sound of cowbells ringing
Ultra Chicken's steps are springing.
But 2 days in she doth decree,
"I should have done the CCC".

Next, the race that eats its young.
The Barkley Marathons sure are "fun".
The conk is blown, the fag is lit,
But Ultra Chicken's thinking, "Darn!"

Sixty thousand feet ascent,
A finish rate of 1 percent,
A hundred miles (and then the rest!)
Will put this yardbird to the test.

All her time she now devotes
Running Land's End from John O' Groats.
A matter of a thousand miles
Brings Ultra Chicken's trademark smiles.

"Now I'll follow", the hen decrees,
"The footsteps of Pheidippides."
A marathon? "Well, for a start a
Run from Athens into Sparta."

Smiling as the race unfurls,
High fiving all the boys and girls.
"Molon labe"! There's the street,
Now go and kiss the statue's feet.

Now the chicken celebrates
Her entry into Western States.
And while she's at it, she might cram
Three others for the full Grand Slam.

Four 100 milers?! Can you believe
The amazing feats folk can achieve!
And whilst some say that she is nuts
She'll finish them; no ifs, no buts!

Some will say that she is brave,
And to inspire is what she craves.
Nervous now the clock is tickin'
She might be scared, but she's no chicken!

But she is not some super chick
There is no secret, no clever trick.
Perseverance and working hard
Are what ultrarunners most regard.

So try your best, but then push harder!
There are no limits with great ardour.
Believe and trust what you can do...
Or be an idiot - that works too!